Resilience and Love

-how I got 100 followers and counting

Soon my second year anniversary having been keeping in control and in remission, my journey through NMSOD (Neuromyelitis optica spectrum disorder), I wasn’t aware that a hidden ‘gift’ was waiting for me upon my discharge from the hospital.

Here’s the original story:

I was told be doctors I will never walk again.

When I was brought to the hospital; with all the bells and sirens on; I was told, I was in an unrecognized shape. Only weighed 50kg. In constant pain. I was put on morphine to quiet my painful yelling and screaming calling for help.

My self; I don’t remember a thing. I don’t remember the ambulance, the ride. My last recollection was having a back pain. No more after that up to the time I open my eyes and found out I was in a hospital bed.

I did not panic.

I did not get scared.

I do remember my brother telling me not to lay on my left because I already pulled my feeding tubes from my nose and the one on my left was the last option to have myself being fed.

Had lots of physiotherapy done. Something inside me, my internal self was not talking to me anymore. It was yelling at me- I’m too young to give up. I have a son and a husband that I can’t disappoint. My friends, my work, my family. I was too young to give up.

I was literally, skin and bones.

I felt bad.

Disappointed filled my heart.

Shit.

During my outgoings on the wheelchair, got to see people in the same situation as myself, but sadness and uncertainty was written all over their face.

Their looks , lost looks I was not going to accept my involvement into that world.

Like a late regretting of what they have done in their lives, not knowing if to go left or right, not knowing if to go back or forth.

Not encouraging.

Instead, depressing.

Disappointing.

Frustrating, again.

I thought to my self- I can do more,

I’m not ready to give up.

I’m still having lots to do.

I’m back to life.

There must be a reason why

During my stay at the hospital, I met a lot of people that told me I inspired them not only to get better, but also from the physiotherapists and doctors, their efforts they put towards to save a life; was successful. They were happy with the outcome of their efforts.

I still remember when I walked in front of the main nurse station; everyone noticed my improvement and cheered and clapped for me, when they saw me walking; still using a walker and walking by myself!.

Problem was later, I started to walk faster and faster, the nurses had to stop me.

Same as when a baby learns to walk.

Then gained balance and walked by myself. Learned go up and down the stairs, fun.

Then it came the date of my release. Finally coming home.

Now I’m currently home, reminiscent of my journey through this illness and writing about them; hoping to inspire all those who goes through ups and downs; their own roller coaster called life.

That’s why I want to thank all the people that even didn’t know me supported me in my new niche.

Maybe that’s the reason why I was given a second opportunity- to encourage people to continue fighting in their lives, resilience is a great tool to make yourself a better person.

You will see that in my stories.

Enjoy!

Ravyne Hawke